greeniebutt

"Riddles in the sand."

2010-01-05T08:17:00.000-08:00

As I cleaned up my room nicely, I found a poem from a very good friend of mine, Jolyn the Sister. This poem really comforted me at times when I feel small, in uncertainty, confused and all alone. Well, sharing is caring ..here goes ...

Remember this ..

After a while you learn,
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security
and you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up high and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not grief of a child
and you learn
to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and future have a way of falling down in mid flight
after a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
and you learn that you can really endure
you are really strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye ...
you learn.

hanging by the moment,
nana

" Cruel summer."

2009-09-19T20:16:00.000-07:00

short story:

The city is crowded,

She's walking aimlessly down the hot summer streets.

She's muttering to herself, in her own thoughts.

She is laughing and crying at the same time.

People looking, snickering, thinking that she must have been crazy.

She doesn't care.

She gave the world the middle finger.

she said, "read between the lines, people."

She's trying to smile, but the air is so heavy and dry.

no, it's not the haze.

no, it's not the smoke from burning junks.

it's in her, within her, inside and all around her.

Suffocating, constipating & irritating.

Muttering under her breath, ignoring the crowd.

"It's too hot to handle, i got to get up and go."

_____________________________________________________________________

It is all because of seven deadly sins that made humans evolved into a filthy rat.

no, correction, much more filthy than a rat that scramming around the back alley.

Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride.

What else could kill a person none other than these.

With Greed, Wrath and Envy enough to pull a person into the dark black hole.

Inflicting pain unto others, be it physically or through spells shows that supernatural beings are not harmful, but humans are.

To the human that made a pact with the devil:

You are despicable.

You are one hella sadist SOB.

You are lower than a cockcroach.

Yes, you may be very much happy with the results of the pact.

But remember, once it's reverse back to you.

You'll get double the pain and grieve that you have put the person through.

White always win, remember that.

God is great, He never leaves us.

Unfortunately, He left you. Long time gone

_____________________________________________________________________

People are evil. Period.

Pride & Prejudice,

nana

"Passion Play."

2009-07-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

short story:

He said, " stay ...stay the way you are because i'm losing you."
she said, " you are not losing me, i'm chasing after my passion and painting rainbows in the sky."
He said, " i cannot keep up with you, you are way forward. it's tiring. what's left of us?"
She said, " At least there is still US, a little support thrown in would help."
He said, " supportive, i can be but there's a barrier in between. How can i break the shield that you've built?"
She said, " i do not know how but at least you can try."
He said, " i'm done trying. It's not going anywhere."
She said, " There's nothing much i can do then. I'm living for my passion, take it or leave it. I've prepared myself to die alone by the end of the day."
He said, " There's nothing much i can offer as well."

____________________________________________________________________

Passion play.
Stress building.
Expectation rises.
People come and go.
All i need at the end of the day is Sea, Sand and Sun.

good lord, i need a break.
proposal, proposal and more proposal.
Neverending ways to keep things on track and move forward.
not to mention, people can be as tight ass and oblivious to the fact of the word "chance."

passion or fairy tale?
Passion i choosed indeed. no doubt.
i've lost interest in whatsoever, you can't blame me.

trivia:
now i know why girls loves make-up cos i'm turning into one.
scary shit.

lonely in gorgeous,
nana

"Release me."

2009-06-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

to my current precious - Sociology.

you're so not gonna let me go,right?
everyday you need my caress over your solid body,
you made me use my brain so much that you left me exhausted.
sometimes, the questions you throw at me left me speechless.
one more month and this is over.
i just can't wait to scribble all over your body on that final day,
throwing all the words that you've taunted me for the whole 7 weeks.
on that final day, i'm free.
free from you.
WHEEEEEE!!!!

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ahhhhhh!!!
as busy as a bee,
buzzing around like nobody business.

to someone faraway:

i'm so sorry that i've forgotten your special day.
i felt real bad and i promise i will make it up to you when you're finally back here.
there's a surprise, i'm not saying it.
it just slipped my mind on that bloody night.
i was so dead tired from work.
i know you've tried so hard to gain back what you've lost, i am not blind, i can see it.
but can you see that i am trying as well.
i do care a lot about you but how am i going to show you when you're not here.
but you shall see it, soon.
it is not easy ... you're part of me, part of me that i cannot let go or let it be.
hurting you is not going to make me feel better.
but giving you this chance, giving us this chance ... i know we can make something out of it.

love,
sabrina.

alrighty,
gotta catch my beauty sleep.
nights people.

dead tired,
nana

" Piece of heaven."

2009-05-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

short story:

she did it.
she finally did it.
looking at the person, writhing ...in pain and agony.
she just smiled, with pure bliss.

she just love to see the pain.
she just love to see the agony he felt when she cut it through.
she just love to see the fear in his eyes.
she just love seeing him feeling helpless being tied down to the chair.
she just love it.

"you'll feel better after you had this drink, my love."
caressing his face.
fingers trailing down the bloody body ...
she smile wider.

she took it and just drop it gently into the blender.
He just stared with wide opened eyes in disbelief.
"no ..no ...NO! Don't do that. NO!"

there, the sounds of blending echoed the room.
she's humming while staring at the blending process with excitement.

happily, she poured it out.
"ta-da! lovely."

she walked over, caressing his face ...then grabbed his face.
" you're gonna love it."
then, she poured the drink and closes his mouth forcefully as he gagged and shaking violently gasping for air.

"ummmm ... is nice, isn't it?"
" i bet you didn't know that your very own penis made such a great drink."
as she kisses his cheek, trailing down the emotionless body.
he just stared at her blankly.

"i wonder how does your other parts of body taste like?"

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phewwwww!!! sick and twisted. damn hard to write. LOL
more to come ...

ahhhh ..new semester ... so fast ...
damn lazy to go classes ...
damn lazy to do thesis ...
in a good way, if everything goes smoothly ..im done by Jan. AWESOME!

everyday, i'm evolving from one animal to another animal and all thanks to Beaver the Hermit.
From flamingo to pigeon to chipmunk and now, Bun-ny(wth!?!)
what were u thinking OBeaver?
wait ..for sure, i'll come up with something "creative". lol
jolyn the Sister and me came up with ..HerBeaverMit. i know, wtf.

basically, we both girls has set our benchmark and life is all 'bout fun.
booze and house party.karaoke. movies night.
when alcohol involved, Charade/Pictionary rocks.

ahhhhhh... ain't that lifeless anymore :)

note: to someone faraway, no, i won't do that to you. XD

twisted mind,
nana.

" the exception to the rule."

2009-05-15T11:34:00.000-07:00

short story:

Leaning against the wall as she stare outside the window.
Looking at nothing particular as her mind was in a mess, questions were running through her mind, trying to figure out the answers.

"What can i do?"
"What changes everything?"
"What have i done to make you distance yourself from me?"
"Was is just lust and nothing else?"

she heard a voice said, " you are just a conquest to him, nothing more."

" is that so?"
she's in total denial, thinking there's more than just lust.

the voice said, " you're annoying, you're such a turn off because you are not yourself anymore."

"is that so?"
she's thinking by adapting to the lifestyle, she would be pleasant enough to keep the attraction.

the voice said, " he's never going to let go of what he had right now, he's never gonna take you seriously. i know him too well."

"is that so?"
she's turning to much more self-conscious, started to compare and defeated by own negative perception of herself.

the voice said, "i know of everything that you don't know. All the words he said, every little details, i know of. you're not what he wanted."

"is that so?"
she just let the tears trickled down ...she admit defeat.

then she looked into the mirror, the person that looking back at her is not her. " where is she?"
the phone rang, is from him.
he called to say, " i can't do this anymore, hence i choose to leave. "

empty and disbelief, she walked back to the corner of the room, thinking the voice must be right because he did not explain himself.

with the pain inside, she looked into the mirror again and decided it is time to move on and let it be because she cannot change a person who has a change of heart ...not recently but for quite some time.

" this is a wake up call. i need myself back, my stronger and most cheerful self. i can do this. "

the voice said, " let go and love me."

she ignored the voice.
she ignored the world.
she ignored him.

He may think that he had won because women are expendable to him.
He may not get hurt or make an ass of himself that way but he don't fall in love that way either. He has not won.
He's all alone.
She may do a lot of stupid shit but she's still a lot closer to love than he is

she dressed up, put on some make up and walked out of the room with her head held high.
as she walk down the stairs, she was thinking, should she trust the words of the voice or the man she once love.

" neither one. it does not matter anymore."

she got into the car and smile, " hi love, sorry i kept you waiting for such a long time."
he smiled, " it's worth it because you're my exception."
alas, she has someone that has been waiting for her and is not him.
she deserve a happy ending.

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quoted from " he's just not that into you", like how she said it:

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you.
Never try to trim your own bands and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending.
Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule.
But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs.
How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.
And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.
Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on.
Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope"

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hmmm i don't know where i get all this silly inspirations to write but i'm getting a hang of it.
i think i like writing, i should write more i guess. :)
it's fun to try something new.

at the very least, this blog is not so emo after all.
hope you peeps like the short stories.
oh yeah, just ignored the flaws lol

/yawn
enough writing, off to bed.
ciao.

fuzzy wuzzy,
nana

" what goes around, comes around."

2009-05-15T03:56:00.000-07:00

short story:

there he is thinking, he's on top of the world.
People are just his minions where what opinions he have are right and the best.
there he is doing, doing things that exceed a person's expectation.
People are just there to fill up his lust and conceited actions.
there he is talking, and it's all about self-praise.

Even with all his conceited actions and perceptions, he still thinks that it's not fair it happen to him.
It's unfair when people gets back at him and it's unfair when things are out of his control.

voices say, " Do unto others what you want others do unto you. There's always a cycle where what goes around comes around."

He just ignored the voices and still doing what he do best - being ignorant and conceited.

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totally AWESOME.
great results, i would say 'cos never expected that i would totally scores the subjects.
kudos to me. XD

oh good lord, 3 more months.
3 freaking months.

writing stories is a damn good time filler but i can sense my writer's block hitting me soon.
lol

jumpy me,
nana

" Lazy summer days."

2009-05-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

short story:

Past midnight as they went for a walk, wandering aimlessly.
he said, " i love the cold breeze tonight."
she nodded. He hold her hand tightly as they walked on.

It was a long walk before he turned and looked at her,
and said " I hope one day, I can say the three magical word to you, but I'm sorry i cannot do it now."
she lifted her head slowly and looked back, straight into his eyes that full of uncertainty.
again, she nodded.
then, she muttered, " I'll wait for that day."
He saw the sadness that lingers in her eyes.
He holds her hand even tighter.
They continue walking down the road and wondering when would that day be.

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Cafe Del Mar music, one word = AWESOME.
currently hooked on Elcho - Lazy summer days.
This song is certainly addictive and once i've heard it, im hooked. replaying the song for kezillion times already.

Heck, M'sia is either hot weather or rainy days. i would love to go to some beaches for summer.Not to mention, SUMMER DRESSES. XD
simply just sun tanning, beautiful sunset, good music and obviously great company.

" Memories of yesterday
Can't think about it ...nothing but you
Never gonna fade away...
Even if you disappear from view...

Sweet distraction...you're always on my mind
Sweet distraction...same feeling every time
Clear intention...just wanna make you mine
Sweet distraction...same feeling every time

Lazy summer days...wash away
Under the spell of soft summer rain
Lazy summer days...wash away
Under the spell of soft summer rain
We are all same

Memories of yesterday
Daydreamin' all when i held you close
Doesn't matter what you say
You were the one i wanted close

Memories of yesterday...

Can't thing about it
Nothing but you

Lazy summer days...
Lazy summer days...wash away
Under the spell of soft summer rain
Lazy summer days...wash away
Under the spell of soft summer rain
And we are all same .."

easy breezy, nana.

" Deeper conversation."

2009-05-13T22:32:00.000-07:00

short story:

he said, " i admit, i have feelings for you knowing you're flirtatious."

she said, " i understand your feeling but is not mutual."

he said, " i am confused, but the feeling is there and growing."

she said, " Don't fall for me, i'm heartless. Guys are like t-shirts to me, that are to be change when it gets old or torn. I can do anything to make the game seems real."

he said, " People said i'm stupid for showing over the top care for you. Stupid for being there for you all the time when you're down because you will never look my way."

she said, " i cherish you in a different way, but it is not the way that you've expected."

he said, " i'm speechless and my mind went totally blank because i cannot keep up with you. You're beyond what i've expected."

she said, " this is me, hence i told you off, don't fall for me."

dead silence.

she said, " you're better off without me."

with that,she turned, walked away and never look back.

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a very calm and soothing song dedicated to someone faraway ... deeper conversation by Yuna, local artist. her voice is awesome ..calm, soothing and soulful.

Is your favourite colour blue?
Do you always tell the truth?
Do you believe in outerspace?
And im learning you

Is your skin as tanned as mine?
Does your hair flow sideways?
Did someone took a portion of your heart?
And im learning you

And if you dont mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
and Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

I let my guard down for you
And in time you will too

if you dont mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
and Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

Deeper Conversation
let me

on random notes: i am still craving for caramel popcorn, mind you. thank god, that this year passes by so fast with a blink of an eye ..is already may, which mean i am graduating soon ..woohoo! excited moving to a new place, it's a nice apartment ... a place i can call home at last. silence, peaceful and blue sky. Now this is what i call, HOME.

hosea's wife,
nana.

" midnight coward."

2009-05-10T11:42:00.000-07:00

in the room, it's certainly love at first slightly drunk.
you used to be someone that i cannot keep up with.
excuses. plain immaturity. distance. playful.
hence, it just ends there with a simple silence for 6 months.
6 months later, you walked back into my life.
but with my back facing you, you were shunned by the coldness.

3 years, you've proven me wrong.
3 years, effortlessly trying to reach me.
3 years, you're a changed person.
3 years, you were right there in front of me.
3 years, i kept a distance between us.
3 years, suffocated with the feelings inside.
but now, i am someone you cannot keep up with.
what's your middle name?
how do we play this game?

3 months later,
when you're within my reach.
show me.
show me that things will turn out great.
reach out to me.
convince me.
i'll look your way once again.
and i will walk back to you with an open arms.

i can see what's coming,
but i'm not saying it.

roller coaster ride in the mist,
nana.

" so silence, no violence."

2009-05-06T14:54:00.000-07:00

I've learn to lose
I've learn to win
Turn my face against the wind

I will move fast
I will move slow
Take me where I have to go.

it's funny how it seems to be real but it's unreal.
emotions definitely can make you delusional.
emotions can break one down.
don't believe it?
try let your emotions get to you and you will know what i mean.

but then, once you get hold of it, you're winning the game.
you'll see beyond emotions, you'll see truth. you'll see reality.
you'll see the white background instead of a black spot in the middle.

im building a concrete heart, a shield against it.
a shield that once get me through everything.
Just sunshine
And blue sky
This is all i get
For living in here.

back to basic ... sunshine and blue sky ...

laughter beats everything in the world,
nana

revived.

2009-05-03T23:32:00.000-07:00

I took too long to move out from the monster side of myself.
it keep bottling up till one day, it just burst.
and i always thought i am strong enough to handle it,
i'm strong enough to move on and i won't let the monster get hold of me.
i guess i was wrong, totally wrong.

instead of me controlling it, it took control of me.
i lost it. totally lost it.
until a point, i became the monster itself and it scares practically everyone away. people used to look at me with loving eyes, but now people look at me with frustrated eyes.
people used to love my company, but now people avoiding me because all they see is my misery and grief.
it's too heavy that they decided to ignore and let me be.
they found bliss in ignorance.

i realized... and i know whether i like it or not, willing or not ..i have to put a stop to it.
i don't wanna end up building a shield that push people away and having self-pity all my life.
that's when the fun-loving soul inside of me surfaces.
all hell break loose. and now i am picking up the pieces.
it's just like playing WoW.
i am leveling up my confidence to face myself.
to get back to life. to appreciate life.

this post i really wanna thanks these few people that practically smacked me back to reality. these few people are true friends that will never give up on you .. that will never leave u behind and walk ahead...that will keep smacking you till you're awake. these people are so dear to me although, yes we do not really hang out previously but they are there, when you need them. at least ..they are there for me when i am broken.

Jolyn's poem and words acted as my guidance to leveling up my confidence and face it instead of ignoring the problems that are just right under my freaking nose.
James and Maya's patience ...encourage me to gain back the trust that i've lost and thrown aside.
Wai mun's unconditional care and sayang ...that shows me that they are still a lot of people who care.
Julian's spiritual words and prayer.
Nick and Kris ..made me a smiling minnie and encourage to turn back my life into a colorful and fun just like Disneyland. in order to see a smiling Mickey, i have to be a smiling Minnie. (pfft!!)

yeah, these people are very dear to me. thank you for bringing me back to life.

i learned my lesson and yes, the Sabrina is back and enjoying life to the fullest.

to hell to the particular person who took everything from me, because i am back and stronger than ever. You robbed enough 2 years back. you might think you've won, but too bad. i'm still alive.

still alive,

nana.

" Amaranth "

2009-02-19T04:31:00.000-08:00

"Baptized with a perfect name
The doubting one by heart
Alone without himself

War between him and the day
Need someone to blame
In the end, little he can do alone

You believe but what you see
receive but what you give

Caress the one, the Never-Fading
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak

Apart from the wandering pack
In this brief flight of time we reach
For the ones, whoever dare

You believe but what you see
You receive but what you give

Caress the one, the Never-Fading
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak

Caress the one, the Never-Fading
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak

Reaching, searching for something untouched
Hearing voices of the Never-Fading calling

Caress the one, the Never-Fading
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak

Caress the one, the Never-Fading
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak"

KARL! awesome song, check it out,aight.

i just can't wait for sem break.
planning another trip ..where to go aye ..
bangkok?
jakarta?
singapore?
aust?

aust sounds like a good idea .. hehehe ..
seriously need a long break,
been such a crazy sem as well as working part time ...
although im enjoying working in starbucks to bits.
crazy, joker, madness and nonsense partners!
they're so cool that if to compared them to Ferrari, Ferrari lost hands down.
woot!

im so crossing my fingers that i can finally pass my idiotic Intro to Marketing.
it's seriously madness subject ever ... hated it, never like it ...LOATHED it.

learned that no point hovering on something that does not belong to me.
hence, im going back to my love - WoW.
/kissies

sigh .... hafta drag my heavy butt to revise those monstrous marketing notes.
wish me luck, if i cannot survice it, hope i can float thru it. LOL

ciao people.
you know you love me,
xoxo

sun and moon,
nana

" Just Dance/Da-doo-doo-doo."

2009-01-30T00:47:00.000-08:00

it's been a while since i've blog.
lol
dead blog, whatta do ...
im having writer's blog for months ..
turning book hermit that's it.
i need some inspirations ... but none.
hence, i just leave it as it is.

updates aye ..
been juggling between work & studies ...
nothing to shout about ...
but hell, Starbucks is much more fun than any of my previous jobs.
seriously.
/dead-pan face.
like they said,- The experience.
lol
it's been months since ... it happened.
to think back, im pretty much cruel
but heck, rather than drag things on, i made a decision.
a decision that conceived of tears, pain and remorse.
but it's for the best.
for you & me.
i believe.

as of now, my feeling pretty much like how a nomad feels ...
where & when i wanna leave .. i just leave.
move on day by day to see how things goes on.
i know of your grieve and suffering, but it is bits and parcels of growing up.
i know, call me a bitch but i learned it the hard way as well.

im wondering.
im wandering.
im pondering.
im stoning.
i wonder, how things will turn out ...
there is nothing you can show me or assure me ..
im always left outside alone.
it shucks.
but, im used to it.
how long do i have to hold on?
how high is my patience level that u intended to test on?
frankly speaking, im scared of you.
you, beast.
i guess ... you won't do anything because u are having the best of both world.

im feeling tired of all this shit.
when the time comes... i'll leave.
damn, my poker face comes in handy when in times like this.

till then ... /plays lady gaga - just dance.
Just dance. Gonna be okay.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just dance. Spin that record babe.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just dance. Gonna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Dance. Dance. Dance.
Just dance.

aight ...till the next post.
i guess i'll be updating much often cos im feeling pretty much emo.
wth ... this is an emo blog, im living up to the standard.
rofl.
toodles people.

screw it, nana

" don't speak."

2008-12-27T08:04:00.000-08:00

nothing much to say.
uneventful much.

it's a dead blog till i get my own bloody line.
hence, the m.i.a

and karl, u better visit my blog eventhough it's dead.
bwahahhaahhahahahaah!!!

toodles.

" ngao."

2008-11-08T07:29:00.000-08:00

por laew.

chun mai yaa fang.
chun mai yaa roo.
brod yaa tam hai chun ruk ter.

khun mai mee hua jai.
khun jai rai.

por laew.

" i'm feeling crappy."

2008-11-05T09:22:00.002-08:00

WHAT.THE.HELL.

pfft!
i despised those people who called people NOOB.
hello sunshine, you( those inconsiderate pricks) have been a noob before alright.
you've started from scratch as well...hunt this and that and what not ... killed this bloody monster and some cockroaches ..hence, you pricks are not in the right place to bloody show off and calling other ppl who are new to it NOOB.

it's is FREAKING annoying when i'm playing and enjoying the game halfway when all of a sudden i got stamped with the noob title ...JUST BECAUSE i am new to the bloody game and all of it.
and just because i cannot seem to understand some parts of it.

so what if your character is way higher lvl?
i can get there as well ...bugger.

and oh by the way, to those who take game seriously like it's a matter of life and death and worst, simply scold/curse people just because your team lost or the big boss kicked your team's asses,
you're simply childish and mad.

game itself is very entertaining until it got ruined by you lots.
game itself is for ppl to have fun and enjoy it until it got ruined by you lots, again.
game is for ppl to know another person (MMORPG games, especially)*sing song voice*
BOLLOOOOOCCKKKKSS!!!!! pure bollocks.
*rolled eyes, sarcastic tone* oh right, is for PPL to curse/scold/called ppl noob and etc.

okays, done ranting. but i'm still boiling mad.
urgh!

&%^&*^$*(&()*$)_()_($*^&*@^*(#*)@(_$(@)&$^*(&%^@*()$(_#)&*)_+#%*@)(!!!!!!!!!!!

pissed,
nana

" what a feeling."

2008-10-28T08:03:00.000-07:00

hey,hi.

been pretty busy.
ho-hum.
i'm a ice cream seller now. lol
free ice cream everyday = heaven.
YUMZ.

i feel so shitty these few days. totally.
writers block. totally.
feeling indifferent. totally.

oh yeah, loving the song - something stupid from Nancy Sinatra feat. Frank Sinatra ( or was it the other way round?)

" I know I stand in line, until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance
You wont be leaving with me

And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid
Like: I love you

I can see it in your eyes, that you despise the same old lies
You heard the night before
And though its just a line to you, for me its true
It never seemed so right before

I practice every day to find some clever lines to say
To make the meaning come through
But then I think Ill wait until the evening gets late
And Im alone with you

The time is right your perfume fills my head, the stars get red
And oh the nights so blue
And then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid
Like: I love you
(I love you, I love you,...) "

yeah, something stupid like i love you.
=/ hmmmmm ... =/ =/=/=/

lol
random betul.
well, it's because i seriously don't know what to write.
any suggestion?
Karl, if you're reading this, suggest a bit la ...you curious creature.
g'night.
till next post.

tataz.

shrugs,
nana.

a walk in the park.

2008-10-13T11:38:00.000-07:00

loving someone is scary.
it is so scary that when the person left you all alone, you'll get hurt, crumble and bitter.
hence, self-pity, self-blame and self-mutilation.
brrr ../shivers.

you'll get heartache ,
then crying nonstop,
then shutting yourself from the world,
then anger,
then hatred,
then hurting yourself
and at the end, you'll feel indifferent. totally jaded.

see how scary it is?
i don't think i can love someone so much that i'll get obssessed with him. lol.
imagine, i'll be like totally into this guy that ..somehow my life revolves around him.

O.O!!!!
i don't want to go there.
but then ...
love is only a feeling ..
which cannot be control.
if i fall in love, i fall hard.
/ouch

i still think that life goes on although being dumped or broke up.
hmmm ... well, it does hurt a lot but it is not the end of the world. There are much more important stuff than this.
now, don't tell me that i don't understand. I do have quite a few heartaches here and there. Is just ... how you deal with it instead of self-pity.
at the end of the day, our happiness does not depend on people.
He is the source of love. to me, imo.

random: i love the picture. funny. /snort.

im here for you,aight?,
nana.

7 mile

2008-10-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

" we can make a million of promises,
but it won't make any difference,
cos, we're never gonna change."

he said, she said.

2008-08-29T06:08:00.000-07:00

i've been wondering, am i selfish?

is it wrong feeling suffocated when people sorta expect me to spend more time with them when i feel like i would love to have my own personal time?

or am i just being plain selfish and inconsiderate?

some people would make a big deal out of it.
all i want is some personal time. wrong?

sigh. i feel so bad.
i'm a witch.
definitely.

if online also wrong, i dunno wad to say adee.
lazy.

life is not a fairy tale.
i'm just a simple practical girl.
not your typical girl who's hoping for a prince.
/snort.

these days, i'm :
constipated.
frisky.
cranky.

oh book, book where art thou, book?
i need to grab couple of books and lock myself in a room.
ahhhhh ...bliss.

don't get me wrong people.
i love you people.
maybe i am just having some pms/mood swing.
or tired.
i'm sorry if i ever, EVER upset you people, k?

yours truly,
nana.

because i'm a girl.

2008-08-18T02:44:00.000-07:00

oh dear, classes starts today.
sigh.
another crazy semester.
=/

i love rainy days.
i love walking under the rain.
'cos ... by walking under the rain,
noone can see me crying.

on the outside ...
all they see is happy.
so .. let me put on the poker face a little longer.

zombie,
nana.

kau pelangi dihati ini.

2008-08-08T00:29:00.000-07:00

"oh teman tak pernah ku lupa,
persahabatan kita,
oh kawan ingin ku bertanya
masihkan kau setia,
kerna kau pelangi cahaya di hati
selepas hujan turun...ohh
kerna kau pelangi di hati ini
selama ini...
ohh..kau pelangi
oh..selama ini
oh..kau pelangi...kau pelangi..
oh..selama ini....

bertahun berlalu tanpa diri mu
masihkah kau ragu
semuanya berubah kini ketemu
apakah daya ku
kerna kau pelangi cahaya di hati
selepas hujan turun..oh
kerna kau pelangi di hati ini
selama ini...
ohh...kau pelangi
ohh..selama ini
ohh...kau pelangi cahaya di hati
selepas hujan turun..ohh
kerna kau pelangi di hati ini
selama ini....."

::izzy mohamed - pelangi::

this song is uber addictive ... and it makes me teary. i love this song to bits.

sighhhhh ..
lets just say that this holiday ...is sorta lifeless.
books, cuppa hot choco and sofa.
online - msning & mangaing.

seriously, not in the mood to get out of my comforting cave.
and then ...
many things hit me ..real hard.
many many things.
im a happy girl, really.
but i dunno ... i feel like i've been walking in a circle.
round and round and round it goes.
tears feep flowing down ...neverending.
im gonna get dehydration soon. lol

mistakes ... i've realized it but somehow i tend to repeat it again.
i've learned but again, i repeat it.
why so? im wondering.
if i were to ask for forgiveness for each repeated mistakes, i think He would be very upset and malas nak layan me adee.
lol

lovely, this blog is like turning emo again.
/snort
but heck, is my blog neways.

but peeps, don't be confuse. i am seriously a happy girl. ^^
is just ... i tend to think a lot at times. when i'm, alone especially.
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA ...
ciao.
xoxo

a song for me,
nana

call me Princess, thank you very much. :)

2008-08-05T00:08:00.000-07:00

this post inspired by kon-kon.
as we were chatting in msn, he said "hmmmm, i just thought about something last night, you're like living a reverse-harlem anime drama."

LOL

truthfully, i ain't that pretty or some girl that pop-out from FHM.
but to me, it's personality that counts.
perhaps, little did i know, my personality actually attracts these people.
oh, grow up. stop snickering, laugh or snort, you people.

LOL

i'm no angel but i do love making people enjoy my company when i'm with them.
hence, i'm unpredictable and mad.
full of madness, sakainess and oh yeah, i'm cheeky.

and oh, these people(read:guys) actually made me realized a few stuff 'bout people and life.
hoho sounded deep but yeah, i think i actually use my brain to think a while instead of oozing around the house. hell yeah, im the pro oozer here. and i'm sure somebody would happily second that sentence. XD

i would like to say im glad i've bumped into these people that ...emmm ...:

>> saved me from my confused self and overcome my tainted past.
>> shows me maturity and to talk using my brains instead of boobs.
>>made me realized that everyone deserve a second chance and not being judgemental.
>>reminded me that long distance relationship needed full commitment and trust.
>>reminded me that guys are also human and yes, they're also emotionally weak at times./pats i'm here, aight. xoxo

p/s: and i think, kon kon ... true, i memang live in reverse-harlem world. LOL
alahhhhh you also enjoy my madness whenever we hang out la. donk.

i'm a happy girl.
roar!

o-hime-sama,
nana.

Funeral for a friend.

2008-08-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

seriously, i just don't get it.
she always contradict her words and when she knows that she's wrong ...
she'll start saying hurtful words.

she is the one that kononnya encourage sharing problems and talk to her when i'm having confusion or whatsoever.
but when i did have such situations, there she goes ... blames, calling me names, shoot me with MK-16 and gave me the i-told-you-so look.
and oh, favourite bullet - relate my not-related matters to my faith & beliefs.

sometimes i do wonder, why do i even bother to please her?

im out of ideas.
im so worned out.
im numb.
and heck, i don;t freaking bother anymore.
BIAK PI.

okays, done ranting.
hey,hi. byes.

dilemma dotter,
nana.

are you in or are you out?

2008-07-02T00:10:00.000-07:00

you're such a bothersome prick.
no, you're not celebrity and couldn't care much about you, aight.

urgh, hmm..i'm convincing myself that i do not care when it is so bloody obvious that i care about you which is partly the cause of my massive headache.
(dramatic a bit =P )

shoot.

it is totally weighing me down like an elephant on my head and ..heck i felt like the gravity is three times the force.

i am trying so hard to stand back, and have the guts to just look at you in the eyes and says, "hey,hi ... i'm GOOD, you greenish sticky booger." with a Doh-face.

but sadly, things or words that we've prepared in mind to screamed at THAT particular person, it'll just dissolve into thin air when THAT person stand in front of us.

what a joke. where's all the fume, mahn! come on, this is not happening ...

it is because of THE EYES, THAT BLOODY EVIL EYES ...

somehow it may sound cheesy, as for me ..eyes sometimes reflected how you feel inside. and no .. i have not gone cuckoo yet and im no psychic.
is just ... my gut feeling. hence, i'm indeed a soft hearted person who will just ...forgive and forget.

aight, so it happens here that ...

whenever i look into your eyes, i know you still cares.
whenever i look into your eyes, i know you've a special place in my heart.
whenever i look into your eyes, i know that no matter how you treat me, im not mad.at all.
whenever i look into your eyes, i know that you'll put a smile on my face when in fact, im crying.
whenever i look into your eyes, i know that your action speaks louder than words.

so, wa-lah. there goes the the fume ...
there goes the hatred ...
there goes the constipated look that's constantly on my face when all those anger bottled up inside ...

magically, POOF! everything just turned plain simple and comforting.

oh bugger.

can someone just bloody shoot me already?
seriously.

on random note:

tra la la la~

i'm a happy girl, alas! =D

nachos ...my source of happiness, for now.

/blek

murderous look,
nana

frogs & princes.

2008-06-27T01:36:00.000-07:00

anyone who can touch you ...
can hurt you or heal you.
anyone who can reach you...
can love you or leave you.

i bruise easily.

-natasha bedingfield-

feeling the dull pain,
nana.

screwed & exhausted.

2008-06-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

hey, hi.
and yes, i know ... haven't been update for such a looooonnngggg time.
firstly, malas. secondly, writer's block. Last but not least, brain damaged.

i've screwed up my Marketing tests. and all of sudden, i feel my IQ decreasing day by day ...
why can't i just be smart a little?
why can't i be much more hardworking a little?
why can't i get good result?
sheessshhhh ...

really. crossing fingers that this semester i can make it ... and at least increase my CGPA. sigh ..

on random note - i'm thinking of applying the SIA stewardess position after graduate. this one memang random. lol

okays la ... will update later on ..
ja, mata ne. byebye

heavy duty,
nana

erase/rewind.

2008-06-06T23:27:00.000-07:00

hey,hi.

the love for money ... is evil.

it can strain any relationships.

it can change you.

it can blind you.

it can stop you from caring.

it kills you inside, then you are not yourself anymore.

but heck, people are still letting the evilness grow inside.

i think i've been victimized by the person who are corrupted by it.

i am not sure but that's how i felt.

show me then, that you're not like that.

because you are not like that when im young.

but things have changed now ... i suppose.

where's the love... i can't feel it.

or the r'ship has been strained years ago

and we didn't do anything 'bout it.

Look into her eyes

You can see she's crying out

She hides behind her smile

You can see the pain of doubt

And if you would hold her close

You could feel the brokenness inside

You would know she feels alone

She feels empty

Listen to her now

Broken is a beautiful sound

She's a little scared

She's afraid of falling further down

But maybe if you let her know

And gave her just a little hope

Somehow if she knew the truth

She'd come alive

In the end

We will learn

Actions speak louder then our words

She needs more than a hug on a holiday

She needs more than a smile on a Sunday

She's not looking for you to fix what's wrong

She really wants to know

Really wants to know she belongs

She needs more than a love song

*fireflight - more than a love song.

confused,

nana.

big girls don't cry.

2008-06-01T20:37:00.000-07:00

pardon me for not updating my blog ...

short semester just started ..and heck, the schedule is jam-packed like a sardin can.
i can't even breathe normally and i breathe twice the speed ...

sheesh .. it's just started and it's already very suffocating enough.

although i'm taking 2 subjects this sem ..but 2 enough to kill my brain and leave me brain dead by the end of it. oh well, every week ... there's test ..and there's team project and there's final exam .. all in 1 month period.

so the nyawa-nyawa ikan adee ..

aihhh .. so stressful these days ..and to those who says studying is freaking easy to me right now .. im so gonna HEADSHOT that person. hmph! >(

on random note:

i'm in those Jappie mood now ... Jdorama the BEST!

aight ... toodles people, update later ...
/bang

harajuku girl,

nana.

yesterday once more.

2008-05-22T02:10:00.000-07:00

hey,hi peeps.

GREETINGS FROM SINGAPORE!!!

it's a SHOPPING galore for me hehehe ...

the clothes here are hella cheap ..my goodness.

obviously, if you don't convert it back to M'sia ringgit or you won't be able to...shop. at.all.

and yups, on all the overrated rumors ...about S'pore being a very clean country with efficient facilities and stuff ...yada yada yada.... are not only rumors...it is CLEAN and SATISFYING.

-________-''

*psst .. M'sia please la .. buck-up and improve the bloody country. sheesh!

it can be consider as a very satisfying holiday for a week ..geez.

hence, i'm thinking about applying a job here after grad ...S'pore is my 2nd consideration. =]

leaving S'pore soon. feeling a little ... sad.

obviously is not the shopping but the time i spent here ...

spending time with my godmum's family ... it's awesome ..

it's just like when i was small ... the warm fuzzy feeling inside ..

i'm loved. =]

sigh .. semester starting real soon .. and i'm all lazy to even check my schedule for my new sem ...

so the DEMOTIVATED.

what the heck is wrong with me?

hence, i blame it all on my holiday ..

/roar.

oh, on random note .. im hella broke. PFFT!!!!

aight, ciao~

so the pokai,

nana

besame mucho.

2008-05-14T12:40:00.000-07:00

" Besame, besame mucho

Como si fuera esta noche la última vez

Besame, besame mucho

Que tengo miedo a perderte, perderte despues

Quiero sentirte muy cerca mirarme en tus ojos verte junto a mí

Piensa que tal vez mañana yo ya estare lejos, muy lejos de ti."

it's irreplacable.

it won't fade away.

it's still stirrring inside.

it's insatiable.

siano i baci le parole d'amore che non ti dico,
nana.

this is love.

2008-05-13T12:02:00.000-07:00

" the precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems

forgiven i'm alive restored set free

Your majesty resides inside of me

forever I believe forever I believe

arrested by Your truth and righteousness

Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness

convicted by Your spirit led by Your word

Your love will never fail

i know You gave

the world Your only Son for us

to know Your name

to live within the Saviour's love

He took my place

knowing He'd be crucified

And You loved ... You loved a people undeserving."

-Hillsong [saviour king] : to know Your name.-

in You, i've found peace.

in You, i've found strength.

in You, i've found forgiveness.

in You, i've found faithfulness.

in You, i've found unconditional love.

in You, i've found truth, the light, the hope.

i can do all things through You.

i love You.

wrapped in Your arms,

nana.

i'll always have you, just like a tattoo.

2008-05-10T08:34:00.000-07:00

oh yeah, i've finally decided.

i'm gonna get tattooed. yes ppl, TATTOO!

mwehehehehe .. with the design i always had on my mind ..which is a lizard, scorpion or bunch of stars on my ankle. i think it's awesome.

i'm not sure about the design yet ... but pretty sure i want it either by the ankle or my back near shoulder. hmmm ... can't seem to make up my mind now yet.

i heard it's gonna hurt like hell, but heck .. i seriously want it. mwehehehe!!!

uh huh, good girl gone bad. but then, i was never a good girl. ooppsiee! terbongkar rahsia! =P

/scribble scribble

tattooo ...piercing ...change of wardrobe.

oh yeah, on the 18th till 25th May, i'll be in S'pore ...enjoying my last week of holiday.

let's just say, the thought of it it's so much fun ...but then, when i looked at the current currency exchange rate, i wanted to faint. It has increased adee .. 2.3 something i guess. sheesh, doubled! so yeah, this trip to s'pore im not looking forward to go anyways. Just to teman me godmum. /pouts

the one im looking forward to is my Phuket trip weiihhh ..haha i just love my half hometown, Thailand. currency exchange rate i think is still the same as ever and hell yeah, shopping paradise ... most importantly, thai hunks! so the yummilicious haha! /drooooling.

Just look at him, P'Aum Atichart. so hella fine.

P'Aum, ruk khun maak maak na! jub jub!!!!! hehe =D

/drool even more.

so yeah, I JUST CAN'T WAIT!

/wobble wobble.

somehow, im gonna travel much now that my passport sudah revived. haha is time to exploit it. mwehehehe ..

/evil smirk.

toodles~

bikini chick on the loose,

nana.

fly like a butterfly & sting like a bee.

2008-05-08T11:52:00.000-07:00

been dancing at home a lot.

my waist aching, proven, lack of dancing or i'm getting older and my body not that flexible adee?

sheeesh. haha but it feel so good ... to just dance to the rhythm of the music ...

oh well, also depends on which type of music ... i would love to groove to trance-like music ... new-age and easiest R&B type

... just let the music flow thru your body ... set yourself loose ...

i feel sooooo much ALIVEEEEEEEEE !!!!!! hohoho ...

BT or Tiesto, tough choice, heck ... hence, i'm loving both awesome DJ.

yups, BINGO ... now is the Trance season for me. hohoho ..

/dancing sexy moves ... in trance ...

toodles people.

this strange effect,

nana

HOLIDAYYYYYYYYYY!!!

2008-05-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO ...

im on holiday, FINALLY.

/wobble wobble.

well, nothing much ler ... as of this holiday, i'll be going to S'pore with godma & god sis.

oh well, yeah ... get to see what so great about S'pore that people go goo-gaa over it, especially when mention about Orchard Road.

hahahaha ...

hmmm .. oh yeah, MANGA MARATHOOOOONNNNNN weihhh ... and also ANIME MARATHOOONNN ...

come on, i know i might sounded weird or may end up being otakus, but hey, i've endured the temptation enough ...suffered enough ... throughout the weeks before final exam. Now is the time to catch up. so yeah ..wth. HOHOHOHO ...

/wobble wobble

/celebrating & dancing

/singing Madonna's Holiday.

hey,hi. im so hiiiiiggghhhh ... =]

smiling from ear to ear,

nana

Groovieeeeee.

2008-04-29T10:18:00.000-07:00

Currently Groving on:

Frank Sinatra & FireFlight.

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME =D

oh well, Frankie boy, he is uber famous and do i have to even bother to intro him. (desperate to know more, duh, google him up to find out. LOL)

oh well, he is the guy who famous for the song -

IIII DIIIDDD ITTTT MYYYYYYY WAYYYYYYYY

go figure. =P

He had the most AWESOME voice, ever and i just fell in love.

made my heart sway and yearn for more.

try listening to:

The girl from iPanema.

Something Stupid.

Fly me to the moon.

/wobble wobble

Now, introducing FireFlight, an American christian rock band.

now now, who says christians are boring dudes & duddettes. =P

loving them now ... especially the lead singer.

She got the attitude aight.

ROCK ON!!!

Try listening to:

You Decide.
More than a love song.
Unbreakable.

/wobble wobble

aights, that's about it.

lifeless these days because it's THE exam week. so yeah.

IT'S A WRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!

intoxicated,

nana.

wonder & ponder.

2008-04-26T07:27:00.000-07:00

sometimes i think that closeness are the one that makes people drifted apart from one another.

why do i say so, aye?

i think that it's the reason because the closer we get, there is an emotional bond between us and the person. thus, if there is anything goes wrong or words wrongly used might be the caused of the downfall of a friendship. (imo, heck.)

come on, don't tell me that there is no emotional attached at all .. if no, then too bad la ..either you're a robot or inhuman.

personally, i would love getting closer with a person but the more closer i am, the more i am scared of being drifted apart.

to think that - words that used to be harmless turned to words that shaken me emotionally.
to think that - the person all of sudden acted unusual made me wondering what have i done wrong.
to think that - once you've gotten closer with the person, the person might take you for granted.
to think that - all these while ... you're being gullible towards the whole thingy.

normally people would just brushed it off by saying, " come on, don't think too much, aight?" or "why complicate things even more?"

well, sadly i ain't that normal, i cherish every r'ship/friendship that i have shared with people that i've encountered with but unfortunately i am not always that lucky to have someone i can trust.

i had been pondering all the things i have mentioned above because i do not want things to change and would love things to stay the way it is.

i do not wanted the r'ship nor friendship to be drifted apart just like that.

but wth, i might think this way ... where else, people might think the other way.

what am i suppose to do then?

frankly, i do not even know how ... so, yeah. it's been bothering me most of the time.

why things have to change and people drifting away?

wondering,
nana

i heart E12.

2008-04-24T09:19:00.000-07:00

*hoho malacca trip, part of the members only. ;]

I HEART E12.

to think back, back then i was pretty depressed, lost and lonely when i first came to KL ... hmm correction: ever since i was in penang. Many things happened, from bad to worst until i felt numb and indifferent about myself. Im so losing it.

then came one fine day, when Ju invited me to his cell group, E12.

all in all, in E12, i've found my peace and happiness and better yet, my first love and forever He will be.

Throughout the time i've spend wit E12 members, i found myself changed and learned a lot, oh well still learning. HOHO ..

from quiet, lost, cold to the person i used to be - bubbly, happy and warm.

and from this cell group, i've learned to forgive and forget, take critics in positive ways and most importantly, to love one another.

but then as time goes by, we've multiplied to at least 20 people in E12. Praise God, but then ...it's time to part into 2 CG now .. E12 and E36 based on location.
somehow i feel sad about it but happy at the same time ... sad 'cos we're parting into 2 groups now ... =/ and happy cos we've multiplied! hoho ..

oh well, i will miss those funny, loving, warm members i have grown to love more and more each day. XOXO i heart you people. =]

im part of the family,

nana

a missing puzzle.

2008-04-23T21:52:00.000-07:00

there is something missing.

i am sure of it.

is it just me or you?

it is not really the same anymore, i guess.

i know and i know, i am not the best that you've wished for.

but i've tried and will keep on trying.

*on random notes: coursework's marks, not bad for this semester. oh well, i shud start studying hoho. sigh. SO FREAKING FAST.

wth.

-_________-

indifferent,

nana.

untitled.

2008-04-22T02:40:00.000-07:00

okay, pop goes my ranting:

why can't those who are in a relationship talk to others e.g FRIENDS.
why is it that people will judge you if you talk to the opposite sex just because you are in a relationship? Why people who are in love often get insecure? Why people said they treasure friendship but it goes downhill once they found their partner?

okay, here's what I think and somehow it work best for me:

1. I think is okay to talk to the opposite sex, as long as you know yourself what status you're in e.g: GF, BF or whatsoever title the partner called you. come on la, insecurities, misunderstandings and opinions, let the couple decide and clear it off on their own.

2. As long as the partner knows who the person you are talking to, it's perfectly FINE! Nothing to hide, right?(oh well, imo. ;p)

3. In a relationship, does not mean that you do not have to communicate at all to the world and live in your own fairy tale world thingy ya know. People needs to communicate to others as our life goes on or we are gonna end up like the guy in I AM LEGEND, LOST OF HUMAN TOUCH. so, issit wrong to talk to the opposite sex?

4. Friends are not meant to be treated good when you are single then dumped them aside once you've found your partner and then run back to them when you're out of love. Well, it is like USING people. I believe eventhough you're in love with your partner, there is a time where you can just spend time with friends. come on people, time management!

5. In a relationship, jealousy is there but how you handle them is another thing. TALK TALK and TALK to your partner. In a relationship, it is much more than just LUST and LOVE. Understanding, Trust, Communication (talk when you don't feel right) and Honesty. With this, i bet you can turn insecurity into security.

Partners, loving a person is when you have achieve understanding, it is not how much you have control over the person that you get obssess with your GF/BF that you have turned into a monster. Without understanding, no relationship can go far or move a level higher. With Obssession and Possessive, you will lose the one you love dearly. think again?

sigh, to think of it, why do you want to let jealousy and insecurity replace the love that firstly drawn you to your partner?

alright. phewww there goes my steam .. half dead.

I think i'm done for now. ^*(&%^$%^$^%^&

WTH,
nana

IM NOT DEAD ...YET

2008-04-21T01:17:00.000-07:00

hello people,

hoho i'm not dead yet ...

just that i've caught a LAZY bug which prevented me from doing anything which includes updating my blog. hehe

these days i've been procrastinating a lot, constipated and lazy.

oh wells, UPDATES UPDATES UPDATES.

1. THANKS MUMMIE for renewing my passport so i can go for holidays. woot woot ... S'pore & Phuket, HERE I COME. XOXO

2. THANKS PAPPIE for an awesome dinner for me bday. XOXO

3. THANKS Alan for being such a sweet popcorn. He gave me a Mickey tote bag for pressie. awesome ,seriously. hugs.

4. THANKS E12, for the wonderful jacket i've been drooling on for weeks =]

Most of all, thanks for being such a lovely cell group that no matter how emo i am, you ppl just cheered me up. <3<3

okays, the happiness ends there and stresssness(??) starts here:

MY FINAL EXAMS STARTS ON 28th APRIL!!!

so the demotivated now ... but have to start studying or my pappie is so gonna kill me and there goes my holiday.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!

i'm SOOOoooooOOooo not gonna let that happen.

alright, for my holiday trips, i'm gonna work my butts off.

/put on specs.

byebye lazy bum, hello misonerdie.

BWAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA.

couldn't-care-bout-nething-but-HOLIDAYS,

nana

HE'S GONE ...

2008-04-02T20:05:00.000-07:00

Hello Peeps,

sorry for lack of updates. Had many things on my mind now ...

i've lost someone dear to me ...

my godfather whom i'm close to, sorta my 2nd dad.

when i heard the news of his death,

im flooded with sadness, regrets and emptiness.

i know and i know that, people will die one day ..but it's hard to accept the reality of it when it hits u, all of a sudden. i though i was fine, until i saw him, lying there in the coffin ... and i know, when i greet him ..he will not answer back. he's gone, forever. hence this post, im gonna dedicated it to him, my loving and uber funny godfather, Jimmy Lim.

Dear ah Leh,

all these while, from the moment ah Bo accepted the offer of babysitting me, you have showered me with love and care. You have treated me like your second daughter. I remember those time ... each time you came back from sailing, you would take me out ...and spend time with me and ah Bo.

I remember ... when i was in kindergarten, you wake up early in the morning just to prepare my breakfast, which is our favourite, AMERICAN BREAKFAST. those sunnyside-up eggs, hams, toasted bread, sausage and orange juice. Then, you would send me to kindergarten on your old honda bike with me in between u and ahbo.

i remember ... those days when I always whining on going out, buy this and that and you would just gave in to me ...i remember those time when you would just sat there on the bench looking at me playing in the playground ...i remember those time when u would just sat down there and looked after me when i'm cycling.

i remember ...those time when each time you came back from sailing, you would bought me gifts and gave me money when you, yourself not enough to spend.

i know, ah leh. i have never spend much time with u ever since i've got to college. and i'm regretting it still, now. how i wish i can turn back time but ...i know i cannot. It broke my heart the last time i saw you ...as u looked ...shrunk and withering away. i know ...you would be leaving us soon but i always hope for not that soon.

ah leh, for the time i've lost, i will spend more time with ah bo and ming jie. I will, i promise. Cos i know deep down, no matter how many times u have argued with ah bo and even jie, you still love them and cherish them ...and i will for sure, take care of myself to make you proud of me as i live on my days. take care there and enjoy your "sailing", captain. I Love You, and the memories of us ...will live on ...in my mind ..and my heart.

love,

siewsiew.

it's painful to accept the fact that ...

i won't get to see him, touch him or hear his voice but then he is there ...in my heart,im sure.

sorry, such a sad post. im still ...emo-ing.mourning.grieving.whatever.

lost-in-the-memories,

nana.

TO JESSICA CHAI :)

2008-03-14T07:49:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated solely to JESSICA CHAI. :)

HAPPPIEEE BURFDAYYYY!!!

sorry la, wishing u later a bit haha but still i got heart to purporsely dedicated this updated to you because you know la, i'm such a busy girl here, so seldom update my post.

hence, i've decided to update 'cos IT"S YOUR B'DAY ehhehehehe!!!

anyways, here's goes the song:

HAPPIE BURFDAY TO YOU,

YOU ARE BORN IN THE ZOO,

WITH PAPA BEAR AND MAMA KANGAROO,

HAPPIE BURFDAY TO YOU!!!

GOD BLESS:)

without a further ado, here's your pressie from your LOVING sisters and bros - ME, SIMMY, JU and JOSH:

HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAAH just in case you din read pohsim's blog, so i've posted here.
LOADS OF LOVE FROM US. :) huggies!!

MISOEVIL,

Nana.

SO NOT ME.

2008-03-05T05:59:00.000-08:00

i'm emo-fied.

i don't what exactly bothering me but im just, emo and confused.

heck, i feel like an oddball.

the more i think of what-might-happen-next, the more i do not want to face it ... i don't like changes in me. If is good, that's great. If it's bad, i'm doom.

Ppl who are older than me, no not the grandpa-old,OLD. but ppl with experience already, ppl who are socalled out in the REAL world told me that people will change when they started working which i am quite agree to it. i've seen how a person can turned totally rotten pumpkin once they get the glitsy position or some rotten pumpkins inject their virus into their blood vessle and WAHLAH, generated a new rotten pumpkin. haahahahahhaha

anyways, my point is ...

I DO NOT WANT TO BE THOSE ROTTEN PUMPKINS.

I WANNA BE FRESH JUICY PUMPKINS.

lil miss emo,

nana.

ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW IS....

2008-02-27T06:55:00.000-08:00

NACHOS!!!!!!!

haha. random but ever since that dinner i had with Abraham, Thanks mate for a great dinner, :) or maybe the lunch i had with my Pappie at Hard Rock Cafe *salivating*...

i just can't stop thinking bout it. It come and goes,teasing with my mind..with it's yummilicious cheese with sour cream ...and and guacamole...and and salsa sauce too.

MY GOSH. tell me la, who can resist NACHOS.

Heck,I CANNOT.

well, somehow i feel that i am going to have it soon, pretty soon, real soon ...vewy vewy soon!

parents coming down to KL, woot woot!>)

oh well, as for the Business Admin project, my group has decided to sell...

CHOCOLATE BROWNIES.

One of my group members, Marcus, he's the baker.
I've tasted it and it is really, really GOOD.

eh, not trying to give good comments aight, honestly it's good. YUMS.

I had a feeling we're gonna have GOOD business. mwehehehehehe

NOTICE:

well, i have just change my lay out, ppl. so somehow,

technically this blog is under construction, navigation wise.

Don't worry, updates memang ada hoho

so, soweee if it's a little confusing.

But then, please do bare with me for a little while cos i need to get use to the coding

hehehe thanks MWAHHHH!! :)

nachos maniac,
nana.

SEXY BACK....

2008-02-24T08:50:00.000-08:00

Just like Mr. Boo.

On saturday, dearest simmy, anakku introduced us to her huggie wuggie cuddie Mr. Boo which she hug to sleep every night. Mr. Boo is so sexy and attractive that Josh and Ju were fighting for him ....TO PUT UNDER THEIR ARMPIT. hohohoho ...rofl. a few times Simmy tried to save her Mr. Boo but sadly, he kena violated secukup-cukupnya. :)

poor unfortunate soul. tsk tsk.

but, by the end of the days, everyone gets all excited for Mr.Boo. Everyone pretty much sayang Mr.Boo.

Pictures speaks a thousand words. so let us see how BAHAGIA Mr.Boo was in it.:)

TA DA!!!

Mr.Boo and the proud owner, Simmy who's my anak. cantikkan.

bribe me for her number then. hoho:)

Simmy, Mr.Boo and Lil Boy, Josh.

Ju the monster, Mr.Boo and yours truly.:)

Yours Truly and Mr.Boo gets all excited, so we decided to pounce on Anna. hoho >)

o.O my gosh, Mr.Boo even got Min to get all excited to eat him up while constipated Simmy looked on. haha.

Alas, Mr.Boo found his true love in Ju the Monster. oh we're so happy for you, Mr.Boo. hehe ... Happily ever after.

WE LOVE YOU MR.BOO!!! XOXOXO

LilMissCutie,

nana.

DESIRING A....

2008-02-19T04:56:00.000-08:00

GISELE BUNDCHEN IPANEMA SANDALS

it's comfortable, it's chic and it's sexy.

aku mau aku mau aku mau.

aight, i know, it's like a last season thingy but heck,i love it.

i purposely waited until now, till it's not that popular, so i won't have to bump into another person wearing the same design. HOHOHOHO ...

talking about cunning :)

been searching high and low for it just now ... and, i can't find it. Actually found it in one of the shoe shop in BVII but then, IT IS IN BLACK COLOR!!!!

hmmm, not the color that i want but maybe that'll be my last resort. If i still can't find the color that i want, of cos.

GRRRR ... sigh. but then, i won't give up just yet, I SHALL OWN IT. going to search for it tomorrow again hehehehe ...

im loving it:)

desperate nyer,
nana.

INFECTED

2008-02-18T06:28:00.000-08:00

BLOGGING...

lotsa people blog nowadays.

oh yeah, heck, it's like 8 out of 10 people i know, BLOG.

peer pressure nih. haha

so in conclusion, i've got infected with the bloggerinitis disease.

congrats:)

HELLLOOOOOO PEEPSSS!

okay, i'm done.

tooddlessssssssssssss!!! adios amigo.

envy you,

nana.