Tuesday, January 5, 2010

"Riddles in the sand."

As I cleaned up my room nicely, I found a poem from a very good friend of mine, Jolyn the Sister. This poem really comforted me at times when I feel small, in uncertainty, confused and all alone. Well, sharing is caring ..here goes ...

Remember this ..

After a while you learn,
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security
and you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up high and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not grief of a child
and you learn
to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and future have a way of falling down in mid flight
after a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
and you learn that you can really endure
you are really strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye ...
you learn.

hanging by the moment,

Saturday, September 19, 2009

" Cruel summer."

short story:
The city is crowded,
She's walking aimlessly down the hot summer streets.
She's muttering to herself, in her own thoughts.
She is laughing and crying at the same time.
People looking, snickering, thinking that she must have been crazy.
She doesn't care.
She gave the world the middle finger.
she said, "read between the lines, people."
She's trying to smile, but the air is so heavy and dry.
no, it's not the haze.
no, it's not the smoke from burning junks.
it's in her, within her, inside and all around her.
Suffocating, constipating & irritating.
Muttering under her breath, ignoring the crowd.
"It's too hot to handle, i got to get up and go."
It is all because of seven deadly sins that made humans evolved into a filthy rat.
no, correction, much more filthy than a rat that scramming around the back alley.
Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride.
What else could kill a person none other than these.
With Greed, Wrath and Envy enough to pull a person into the dark black hole.
Inflicting pain unto others, be it physically or through spells shows that supernatural beings are not harmful, but humans are.
To the human that made a pact with the devil:
You are despicable.
You are one hella sadist SOB.
You are lower than a cockcroach.
Yes, you may be very much happy with the results of the pact.
But remember, once it's reverse back to you.
You'll get double the pain and grieve that you have put the person through.
White always win, remember that.
God is great, He never leaves us.
Unfortunately, He left you. Long time gone
People are evil. Period.
Pride & Prejudice,

Friday, July 24, 2009

"Passion Play."

short story:

He said, " stay ...stay the way you are because i'm losing you."
she said, " you are not losing me, i'm chasing after my passion and painting rainbows in the sky."
He said, " i cannot keep up with you, you are way forward. it's tiring. what's left of us?"
She said, " At least there is still US, a little support thrown in would help."
He said, " supportive, i can be but there's a barrier in between. How can i break the shield that you've built?"
She said, " i do not know how but at least you can try."
He said, " i'm done trying. It's not going anywhere."
She said, " There's nothing much i can do then. I'm living for my passion, take it or leave it. I've prepared myself to die alone by the end of the day."
He said, " There's nothing much i can offer as well."


Passion play.
Stress building.
Expectation rises.
People come and go.
All i need at the end of the day is Sea, Sand and Sun.

good lord, i need a break.
proposal, proposal and more proposal.
Neverending ways to keep things on track and move forward.
not to mention, people can be as tight ass and oblivious to the fact of the word "chance."

passion or fairy tale?
Passion i choosed indeed. no doubt.
i've lost interest in whatsoever, you can't blame me.

now i know why girls loves make-up cos i'm turning into one.
scary shit.

lonely in gorgeous,

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

"Release me."

to my current precious - Sociology.

you're so not gonna let me go,right?
everyday you need my caress over your solid body,
you made me use my brain so much that you left me exhausted.
sometimes, the questions you throw at me left me speechless.
one more month and this is over.
i just can't wait to scribble all over your body on that final day,
throwing all the words that you've taunted me for the whole 7 weeks.
on that final day, i'm free.
free from you.


as busy as a bee,
buzzing around like nobody business.

to someone faraway:

i'm so sorry that i've forgotten your special day.
i felt real bad and i promise i will make it up to you when you're finally back here.
there's a surprise, i'm not saying it.
it just slipped my mind on that bloody night.
i was so dead tired from work.
i know you've tried so hard to gain back what you've lost, i am not blind, i can see it.
but can you see that i am trying as well.
i do care a lot about you but how am i going to show you when you're not here.
but you shall see it, soon.
it is not easy ... you're part of me, part of me that i cannot let go or let it be.
hurting you is not going to make me feel better.
but giving you this chance, giving us this chance ... i know we can make something out of it.


gotta catch my beauty sleep.
nights people.

dead tired,

Sunday, May 17, 2009

" Piece of heaven."

short story:

she did it.
she finally did it.
looking at the person, writhing ...in pain and agony.
she just smiled, with pure bliss.

she just love to see the pain.
she just love to see the agony he felt when she cut it through.
she just love to see the fear in his eyes.
she just love seeing him feeling helpless being tied down to the chair.
she just love it.

"you'll feel better after you had this drink, my love."
caressing his face.
fingers trailing down the bloody body ...
she smile wider.

she took it and just drop it gently into the blender.
He just stared with wide opened eyes in disbelief.
"no ..no ...NO! Don't do that. NO!"

there, the sounds of blending echoed the room.
she's humming while staring at the blending process with excitement.

happily, she poured it out.
"ta-da! lovely."

she walked over, caressing his face ...then grabbed his face.
" you're gonna love it."
then, she poured the drink and closes his mouth forcefully as he gagged and shaking violently gasping for air.

"ummmm ... is nice, isn't it?"
" i bet you didn't know that your very own penis made such a great drink."
as she kisses his cheek, trailing down the emotionless body.
he just stared at her blankly.

"i wonder how does your other parts of body taste like?"


phewwwww!!! sick and twisted. damn hard to write. LOL
more to come ...

ahhhh ..new semester ... so fast ...
damn lazy to go classes ...
damn lazy to do thesis ...
in a good way, if everything goes smoothly ..im done by Jan. AWESOME!

everyday, i'm evolving from one animal to another animal and all thanks to Beaver the Hermit.
From flamingo to pigeon to chipmunk and now, Bun-ny(wth!?!)
what were u thinking OBeaver?
wait ..for sure, i'll come up with something "creative". lol
jolyn the Sister and me came up with ..HerBeaverMit. i know, wtf.

basically, we both girls has set our benchmark and life is all 'bout fun.
booze and house party.karaoke. movies night.
when alcohol involved, Charade/Pictionary rocks.

ahhhhhh... ain't that lifeless anymore :)

note: to someone faraway, no, i won't do that to you. XD

twisted mind,

Friday, May 15, 2009

" the exception to the rule."

short story:

Leaning against the wall as she stare outside the window.
Looking at nothing particular as her mind was in a mess, questions were running through her mind, trying to figure out the answers.

"What can i do?"
"What changes everything?"
"What have i done to make you distance yourself from me?"
"Was is just lust and nothing else?"

she heard a voice said, " you are just a conquest to him, nothing more."

" is that so?"
she's in total denial, thinking there's more than just lust.

the voice said, " you're annoying, you're such a turn off because you are not yourself anymore."

"is that so?"
she's thinking by adapting to the lifestyle, she would be pleasant enough to keep the attraction.

the voice said, " he's never going to let go of what he had right now, he's never gonna take you seriously. i know him too well."

"is that so?"
she's turning to much more self-conscious, started to compare and defeated by own negative perception of herself.

the voice said, "i know of everything that you don't know. All the words he said, every little details, i know of. you're not what he wanted."

"is that so?"
she just let the tears trickled down ...she admit defeat.

then she looked into the mirror, the person that looking back at her is not her. " where is she?"
the phone rang, is from him.
he called to say, " i can't do this anymore, hence i choose to leave. "

empty and disbelief, she walked back to the corner of the room, thinking the voice must be right because he did not explain himself.

with the pain inside, she looked into the mirror again and decided it is time to move on and let it be because she cannot change a person who has a change of heart ...not recently but for quite some time.

" this is a wake up call. i need myself back, my stronger and most cheerful self. i can do this. "

the voice said, " let go and love me."

she ignored the voice.
she ignored the world.
she ignored him.

He may think that he had won because women are expendable to him.
He may not get hurt or make an ass of himself that way but he don't fall in love that way either. He has not won.
He's all alone.
She may do a lot of stupid shit but she's still a lot closer to love than he is

she dressed up, put on some make up and walked out of the room with her head held high.
as she walk down the stairs, she was thinking, should she trust the words of the voice or the man she once love.

" neither one. it does not matter anymore."

she got into the car and smile, " hi love, sorry i kept you waiting for such a long time."
he smiled, " it's worth it because you're my exception."
alas, she has someone that has been waiting for her and is not him.
she deserve a happy ending.


quoted from " he's just not that into you", like how she said it:

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you.
Never try to trim your own bands and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending.
Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule.
But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs.
How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.
And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.
Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on.
Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope"

hmmm i don't know where i get all this silly inspirations to write but i'm getting a hang of it.
i think i like writing, i should write more i guess. :)
it's fun to try something new.

at the very least, this blog is not so emo after all.
hope you peeps like the short stories.
oh yeah, just ignored the flaws lol

enough writing, off to bed.

fuzzy wuzzy,

" what goes around, comes around."

short story:

there he is thinking, he's on top of the world.
People are just his minions where what opinions he have are right and the best.
there he is doing, doing things that exceed a person's expectation.
People are just there to fill up his lust and conceited actions.
there he is talking, and it's all about self-praise.

Even with all his conceited actions and perceptions, he still thinks that it's not fair it happen to him.
It's unfair when people gets back at him and it's unfair when things are out of his control.

voices say, " Do unto others what you want others do unto you. There's always a cycle where what goes around comes around."

He just ignored the voices and still doing what he do best - being ignorant and conceited.


totally AWESOME.
great results, i would say 'cos never expected that i would totally scores the subjects.
kudos to me. XD

oh good lord, 3 more months.
3 freaking months.

writing stories is a damn good time filler but i can sense my writer's block hitting me soon.

jumpy me,