" Cruel summer."

short story:

The city is crowded,

She's walking aimlessly down the hot summer streets.

She's muttering to herself, in her own thoughts.

She is laughing and crying at the same time.

People looking, snickering, thinking that she must have been crazy.

She doesn't care.

She gave the world the middle finger.

she said, "read between the lines, people."

She's trying to smile, but the air is so heavy and dry.

no, it's not the haze.

no, it's not the smoke from burning junks.

it's in her, within her, inside and all around her.

Suffocating, constipating & irritating.

Muttering under her breath, ignoring the crowd.

"It's too hot to handle, i got to get up and go."

_____________________________________________________________________

It is all because of seven deadly sins that made humans evolved into a filthy rat.

no, correction, much more filthy than a rat that scramming around the back alley.

Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride.

What else could kill a person none other than these.

With Greed, Wrath and Envy enough to pull a person into the dark black hole.

Inflicting pain unto others, be it physically or through spells shows that supernatural beings are not harmful, but humans are.

To the human that made a pact with the devil:

You are despicable.

You are one hella sadist SOB.

You are lower than a cockcroach.

Yes, you may be very much happy with the results of the pact.

But remember, once it's reverse back to you.

You'll get double the pain and grieve that you have put the person through.

White always win, remember that.

God is great, He never leaves us.

Unfortunately, He left you. Long time gone

_____________________________________________________________________

People are evil. Period.

Pride & Prejudice,

nana

"Passion Play."

short story:

He said, " stay ...stay the way you are because i'm losing you."
she said, " you are not losing me, i'm chasing after my passion and painting rainbows in the sky."
He said, " i cannot keep up with you, you are way forward. it's tiring. what's left of us?"
She said, " At least there is still US, a little support thrown in would help."
He said, " supportive, i can be but there's a barrier in between. How can i break the shield that you've built?"
She said, " i do not know how but at least you can try."
He said, " i'm done trying. It's not going anywhere."
She said, " There's nothing much i can do then. I'm living for my passion, take it or leave it. I've prepared myself to die alone by the end of the day."
He said, " There's nothing much i can offer as well."

____________________________________________________________________

Passion play.
Stress building.
Expectation rises.
People come and go.
All i need at the end of the day is Sea, Sand and Sun.

good lord, i need a break.
proposal, proposal and more proposal.
Neverending ways to keep things on track and move forward.
not to mention, people can be as tight ass and oblivious to the fact of the word "chance."

passion or fairy tale?
Passion i choosed indeed. no doubt.
i've lost interest in whatsoever, you can't blame me.

trivia:
now i know why girls loves make-up cos i'm turning into one.
scary shit.

lonely in gorgeous,
nana

"Release me."

to my current precious - Sociology.

you're so not gonna let me go,right?
everyday you need my caress over your solid body,
you made me use my brain so much that you left me exhausted.
sometimes, the questions you throw at me left me speechless.
one more month and this is over.
i just can't wait to scribble all over your body on that final day,
throwing all the words that you've taunted me for the whole 7 weeks.
on that final day, i'm free.
free from you.
WHEEEEEE!!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ahhhhhh!!!
as busy as a bee,
buzzing around like nobody business.

to someone faraway:

i'm so sorry that i've forgotten your special day.
i felt real bad and i promise i will make it up to you when you're finally back here.
there's a surprise, i'm not saying it.
it just slipped my mind on that bloody night.
i was so dead tired from work.
i know you've tried so hard to gain back what you've lost, i am not blind, i can see it.
but can you see that i am trying as well.
i do care a lot about you but how am i going to show you when you're not here.
but you shall see it, soon.
it is not easy ... you're part of me, part of me that i cannot let go or let it be.
hurting you is not going to make me feel better.
but giving you this chance, giving us this chance ... i know we can make something out of it.

love,
sabrina.

alrighty,
gotta catch my beauty sleep.
nights people.

dead tired,
nana

" Piece of heaven."

short story:

she did it.
she finally did it.
looking at the person, writhing ...in pain and agony.
she just smiled, with pure bliss.

she just love to see the pain.
she just love to see the agony he felt when she cut it through.
she just love to see the fear in his eyes.
she just love seeing him feeling helpless being tied down to the chair.
she just love it.


"you'll feel better after you had this drink, my love."
caressing his face.
fingers trailing down the bloody body ...
she smile wider.

she took it and just drop it gently into the blender.
He just stared with wide opened eyes in disbelief.
"no ..no ...NO! Don't do that. NO!"

there, the sounds of blending echoed the room.
she's humming while staring at the blending process with excitement.

happily, she poured it out.
"ta-da! lovely."

she walked over, caressing his face ...then grabbed his face.
" you're gonna love it."
then, she poured the drink and closes his mouth forcefully as he gagged and shaking violently gasping for air.

"ummmm ... is nice, isn't it?"
" i bet you didn't know that your very own penis made such a great drink."
as she kisses his cheek, trailing down the emotionless body.
he just stared at her blankly.

"i wonder how does your other parts of body taste like?"


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

phewwwww!!! sick and twisted. damn hard to write. LOL
more to come ...

ahhhh ..new semester ... so fast ...
damn lazy to go classes ...
damn lazy to do thesis ...
in a good way, if everything goes smoothly ..im done by Jan. AWESOME!

everyday, i'm evolving from one animal to another animal and all thanks to Beaver the Hermit.
From flamingo to pigeon to chipmunk and now, Bun-ny(wth!?!)
what were u thinking OBeaver?
wait ..for sure, i'll come up with something "creative". lol
jolyn the Sister and me came up with ..HerBeaverMit. i know, wtf.

basically, we both girls has set our benchmark and life is all 'bout fun.
booze and house party.karaoke. movies night.
when alcohol involved, Charade/Pictionary rocks.

ahhhhhh... ain't that lifeless anymore :)


note: to someone faraway, no, i won't do that to you. XD

twisted mind,
nana.

" the exception to the rule."

short story:

Leaning against the wall as she stare outside the window.
Looking at nothing particular as her mind was in a mess, questions were running through her mind, trying to figure out the answers.

"What can i do?"
"What changes everything?"
"What have i done to make you distance yourself from me?"
"Was is just lust and nothing else?"

she heard a voice said, " you are just a conquest to him, nothing more."

" is that so?"
she's in total denial, thinking there's more than just lust.

the voice said, " you're annoying, you're such a turn off because you are not yourself anymore."

"is that so?"
she's thinking by adapting to the lifestyle, she would be pleasant enough to keep the attraction.

the voice said, " he's never going to let go of what he had right now, he's never gonna take you seriously. i know him too well."

"is that so?"
she's turning to much more self-conscious, started to compare and defeated by own negative perception of herself.

the voice said, "i know of everything that you don't know. All the words he said, every little details, i know of. you're not what he wanted."

"is that so?"
she just let the tears trickled down ...she admit defeat.

then she looked into the mirror, the person that looking back at her is not her. " where is she?"
the phone rang, is from him.
he called to say, " i can't do this anymore, hence i choose to leave. "

empty and disbelief, she walked back to the corner of the room, thinking the voice must be right because he did not explain himself.

with the pain inside, she looked into the mirror again and decided it is time to move on and let it be because she cannot change a person who has a change of heart ...not recently but for quite some time.

" this is a wake up call. i need myself back, my stronger and most cheerful self. i can do this. "

the voice said, " let go and love me."

she ignored the voice.
she ignored the world.
she ignored him.

He may think that he had won because women are expendable to him.
He may not get hurt or make an ass of himself that way but he don't fall in love that way either. He has not won.
He's all alone.
She may do a lot of stupid shit but she's still a lot closer to love than he is

she dressed up, put on some make up and walked out of the room with her head held high.
as she walk down the stairs, she was thinking, should she trust the words of the voice or the man she once love.

" neither one. it does not matter anymore."

she got into the car and smile, " hi love, sorry i kept you waiting for such a long time."
he smiled, " it's worth it because you're my exception."
alas, she has someone that has been waiting for her and is not him.
she deserve a happy ending.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

quoted from " he's just not that into you", like how she said it:

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you.
Never try to trim your own bands and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending.
Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule.
But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs.
How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.
And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.
Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on.
Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hmmm i don't know where i get all this silly inspirations to write but i'm getting a hang of it.
i think i like writing, i should write more i guess. :)
it's fun to try something new.

at the very least, this blog is not so emo after all.
hope you peeps like the short stories.
oh yeah, just ignored the flaws lol

/yawn
enough writing, off to bed.
ciao.

fuzzy wuzzy,
nana

" what goes around, comes around."

short story:

there he is thinking, he's on top of the world.
People are just his minions where what opinions he have are right and the best.
there he is doing, doing things that exceed a person's expectation.
People are just there to fill up his lust and conceited actions.
there he is talking, and it's all about self-praise.

Even with all his conceited actions and perceptions, he still thinks that it's not fair it happen to him.
It's unfair when people gets back at him and it's unfair when things are out of his control.

voices say, " Do unto others what you want others do unto you. There's always a cycle where what goes around comes around."

He just ignored the voices and still doing what he do best - being ignorant and conceited.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

totally AWESOME.
great results, i would say 'cos never expected that i would totally scores the subjects.
kudos to me. XD

oh good lord, 3 more months.
3 freaking months.

writing stories is a damn good time filler but i can sense my writer's block hitting me soon.
lol

jumpy me,
nana

" Lazy summer days."

short story:

Past midnight as they went for a walk, wandering aimlessly.
he said, " i love the cold breeze tonight."
she nodded. He hold her hand tightly as they walked on.

It was a long walk before he turned and looked at her,
and said " I hope one day, I can say the three magical word to you, but I'm sorry i cannot do it now."
she lifted her head slowly and looked back, straight into his eyes that full of uncertainty.
again, she nodded.
then, she muttered, " I'll wait for that day."
He saw the sadness that lingers in her eyes.
He holds her hand even tighter.
They continue walking down the road and wondering when would that day be.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafe Del Mar music, one word = AWESOME.
currently hooked on Elcho - Lazy summer days.
This song is certainly addictive and once i've heard it, im hooked. replaying the song for kezillion times already.

Heck, M'sia is either hot weather or rainy days. i would love to go to some beaches for summer.Not to mention, SUMMER DRESSES. XD
simply just sun tanning, beautiful sunset, good music and obviously great company.

" Memories of yesterday
Can't think about it ...nothing but you
Never gonna fade away...
Even if you disappear from view...

Sweet distraction...you're always on my mind
Sweet distraction...same feeling every time
Clear intention...just wanna make you mine
Sweet distraction...same feeling every time

Lazy summer days...wash away
Under the spell of soft summer rain
Lazy summer days...wash away
Under the spell of soft summer rain
We are all same

Memories of yesterday
Daydreamin' all when i held you close
Doesn't matter what you say
You were the one i wanted close

Memories of yesterday...

Can't thing about it
Nothing but you

Lazy summer days...
Lazy summer days...wash away
Under the spell of soft summer rain
Lazy summer days...wash away
Under the spell of soft summer rain
And we are all same .."


easy breezy, nana.

" Deeper conversation."

short story:

he said, " i admit, i have feelings for you knowing you're flirtatious."

she said, " i understand your feeling but is not mutual."

he said, " i am confused, but the feeling is there and growing."

she said, " Don't fall for me, i'm heartless. Guys are like t-shirts to me, that are to be change when it gets old or torn. I can do anything to make the game seems real."

he said, " People said i'm stupid for showing over the top care for you. Stupid for being there for you all the time when you're down because you will never look my way."

she said, " i cherish you in a different way, but it is not the way that you've expected."

he said, " i'm speechless and my mind went totally blank because i cannot keep up with you. You're beyond what i've expected."

she said, " this is me, hence i told you off, don't fall for me."

dead silence.

she said, " you're better off without me."

with that,she turned, walked away and never look back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a very calm and soothing song dedicated to someone faraway ... deeper conversation by Yuna, local artist. her voice is awesome ..calm, soothing and soulful.

Is your favourite colour blue?
Do you always tell the truth?
Do you believe in outerspace?
And im learning you

Is your skin as tanned as mine?
Does your hair flow sideways?
Did someone took a portion of your heart?
And im learning you

And if you dont mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
and Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

I let my guard down for you
And in time you will too

if you dont mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
and Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

Deeper Conversation
let me

on random notes: i am still craving for caramel popcorn, mind you. thank god, that this year passes by so fast with a blink of an eye ..is already may, which mean i am graduating soon ..woohoo! excited moving to a new place, it's a nice apartment ... a place i can call home at last. silence, peaceful and blue sky. Now this is what i call, HOME.

hosea's wife,
nana.

" midnight coward."

in the room, it's certainly love at first slightly drunk.
you used to be someone that i cannot keep up with.
excuses. plain immaturity. distance. playful.
hence, it just ends there with a simple silence for 6 months.
6 months later, you walked back into my life.
but with my back facing you, you were shunned by the coldness.

3 years, you've proven me wrong.
3 years, effortlessly trying to reach me.
3 years, you're a changed person.
3 years, you were right there in front of me.
3 years, i kept a distance between us.
3 years, suffocated with the feelings inside.
but now, i am someone you cannot keep up with.
what's your middle name?
how do we play this game?

3 months later,
when you're within my reach.
show me.
show me that things will turn out great.
reach out to me.
convince me.
i'll look your way once again.
and i will walk back to you with an open arms.

i can see what's coming,
but i'm not saying it.

roller coaster ride in the mist,
nana.

" so silence, no violence."

I've learn to lose
I've learn to win
Turn my face against the wind

I will move fast
I will move slow
Take me where I have to go.

it's funny how it seems to be real but it's unreal.
emotions definitely can make you delusional.
emotions can break one down.
don't believe it?
try let your emotions get to you and you will know what i mean.

but then, once you get hold of it, you're winning the game.
you'll see beyond emotions, you'll see truth. you'll see reality.
you'll see the white background instead of a black spot in the middle.

im building a concrete heart, a shield against it.
a shield that once get me through everything.
Just sunshine
And blue sky
This is all i get
For living in here.

back to basic ... sunshine and blue sky ...

laughter beats everything in the world,
nana

revived.

I took too long to move out from the monster side of myself.
it keep bottling up till one day, it just burst.
and i always thought i am strong enough to handle it,
i'm strong enough to move on and i won't let the monster get hold of me.
i guess i was wrong, totally wrong.

instead of me controlling it, it took control of me.
i lost it. totally lost it.
until a point, i became the monster itself and it scares practically everyone away. people used to look at me with loving eyes, but now people look at me with frustrated eyes.
people used to love my company, but now people avoiding me because all they see is my misery and grief.
it's too heavy that they decided to ignore and let me be.
they found bliss in ignorance.

i realized... and i know whether i like it or not, willing or not ..i have to put a stop to it.
i don't wanna end up building a shield that push people away and having self-pity all my life.
that's when the fun-loving soul inside of me surfaces.
all hell break loose. and now i am picking up the pieces.
it's just like playing WoW.
i am leveling up my confidence to face myself.
to get back to life. to appreciate life.

this post i really wanna thanks these few people that practically smacked me back to reality. these few people are true friends that will never give up on you .. that will never leave u behind and walk ahead...that will keep smacking you till you're awake. these people are so dear to me although, yes we do not really hang out previously but they are there, when you need them. at least ..they are there for me when i am broken.

Jolyn's poem and words acted as my guidance to leveling up my confidence and face it instead of ignoring the problems that are just right under my freaking nose.
James and Maya's patience ...encourage me to gain back the trust that i've lost and thrown aside.
Wai mun's unconditional care and sayang ...that shows me that they are still a lot of people who care.
Julian's spiritual words and prayer.
Nick and Kris ..made me a smiling minnie and encourage to turn back my life into a colorful and fun just like Disneyland. in order to see a smiling Mickey, i have to be a smiling Minnie. (pfft!!)

yeah, these people are very dear to me. thank you for bringing me back to life.

i learned my lesson and yes, the Sabrina is back and enjoying life to the fullest.

to hell to the particular person who took everything from me, because i am back and stronger than ever. You robbed enough 2 years back. you might think you've won, but too bad. i'm still alive.

still alive,

nana.

" Amaranth "

"Baptized with a perfect name
The doubting one by heart
Alone without himself

War between him and the day
Need someone to blame
In the end, little he can do alone

You believe but what you see
receive but what you give

Caress the one, the Never-Fading
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak

Apart from the wandering pack
In this brief flight of time we reach
For the ones, whoever dare

You believe but what you see
You receive but what you give

Caress the one, the Never-Fading
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak

Caress the one, the Never-Fading
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak

Reaching, searching for something untouched
Hearing voices of the Never-Fading calling

Caress the one, the Never-Fading
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak

Caress the one, the Never-Fading
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak"

KARL! awesome song, check it out,aight.

i just can't wait for sem break.
planning another trip ..where to go aye ..
bangkok?
jakarta?
singapore?
aust?

aust sounds like a good idea .. hehehe ..
seriously need a long break,
been such a crazy sem as well as working part time ...
although im enjoying working in starbucks to bits.
crazy, joker, madness and nonsense partners!
they're so cool that if to compared them to Ferrari, Ferrari lost hands down.
woot!

im so crossing my fingers that i can finally pass my idiotic Intro to Marketing.
it's seriously madness subject ever ... hated it, never like it ...LOATHED it.

learned that no point hovering on something that does not belong to me.
hence, im going back to my love - WoW.
/kissies

sigh .... hafta drag my heavy butt to revise those monstrous marketing notes.
wish me luck, if i cannot survice it, hope i can float thru it. LOL

ciao people.
you know you love me,
xoxo

sun and moon,
nana

" Just Dance/Da-doo-doo-doo."

it's been a while since i've blog.
lol
dead blog, whatta do ...
im having writer's blog for months ..
turning book hermit that's it.
i need some inspirations ... but none.
hence, i just leave it as it is.

updates aye ..
been juggling between work & studies ...
nothing to shout about ...
but hell, Starbucks is much more fun than any of my previous jobs.
seriously.
/dead-pan face.
like they said,- The experience.
lol
it's been months since ... it happened.
to think back, im pretty much cruel
but heck, rather than drag things on, i made a decision.
a decision that conceived of tears, pain and remorse.
but it's for the best.
for you & me.
i believe.

as of now, my feeling pretty much like how a nomad feels ...
where & when i wanna leave .. i just leave.
move on day by day to see how things goes on.
i know of your grieve and suffering, but it is bits and parcels of growing up.
i know, call me a bitch but i learned it the hard way as well.

im wondering.
im wandering.
im pondering.
im stoning.
i wonder, how things will turn out ...
there is nothing you can show me or assure me ..
im always left outside alone.
it shucks.
but, im used to it.
how long do i have to hold on?
how high is my patience level that u intended to test on?
frankly speaking, im scared of you.
you, beast.
i guess ... you won't do anything because u are having the best of both world.

im feeling tired of all this shit.
when the time comes... i'll leave.
damn, my poker face comes in handy when in times like this.

till then ... /plays lady gaga - just dance.
Just dance. Gonna be okay.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just dance. Spin that record babe.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just dance. Gonna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Dance. Dance. Dance.
Just dance.

aight ...till the next post.
i guess i'll be updating much often cos im feeling pretty much emo.
wth ... this is an emo blog, im living up to the standard.
rofl.
toodles people.

screw it, nana